I’ve spoken about this for awhile now. Traveling some distance to reach my destination.
Last week, I arrived at what I’d call a home base – or at least I understand the journey now and I know my path.
Then this thought came to mind, and you can call it what you like. How was I supposed to do this with so many terrible people around me?
My mind plays back on how cruel my mother was. How my ex was not only jealous, he was incapable of doing more. How the father of my younger boys would trade my life for a wad of cash.
All tests. All meant to show me what not to do with my love and creative energy. You can love someone as much as you’d like, but it won’t change the fact that they’re a terrible person. It won’t make their path clear.
It’ll just drain you, and keep you running in one place.
Choosing yourself isn’t bad. Who else is going to do it? This isn’t just about my career – my mental and physical health were affected by the choices I made and the environments I was in. I kept thinking I was stuck…it was the people I was around.
My mother tried making amends before she passed – that was a relief off of my heart. As for the other two…especially my recent ex…
No.
I told him he was stuck. He had concocted several lies, and wasn’t telling me the entire truth about other things. I could feel it pressing at the seams. He got offended because I told him the truth.
“I think you’re stuck,” he said, trying to gaslight me.
Shortly after, I was caring for my dying mother and trying to figure out where I was going to move. He has spent nearly a year stalking my social media accounts. And no, he hasn’t made any progress on his career since I took my light and love with me.
Also. He stays with his mother, whom he hates. Ergo the mention of him being stuck.
We always get in our own way. Be it unhealthy relationships. Bad habits. Insane beliefs that are mentally detrimental. Not telling the truth to ourselves.
Last summers timeline was weird. Do you recall? I was inducted into the Marquis Who’s Who of Emerging Leaders, started a new job, and got interviewed a handful of times. He complained about not being nominated to be interviewed to which he completely ruined when he got the chance.
Then he started asking if I’d ever won anything. This after watching me receive a plaque for an interview and my accomplishments. I had remained in a top position during a Maxim contest as well. How dare I try new things.
I had to tell him – you are not me. This is not your path. He kept offering me a castle he didn’t have. I kept dialing it back.
“I don’t want a castle. You need to slow down. I want to stop talking about that.”
“I understand.”
He didn’t. He then suggested he would work with Ronnie Radke of all people. Ronnie doesn’t even know his name. Then he started lying about archangel Michael coming to him in his dreams. Telling him to quit his well paying job.
He was having a psychotic break – why was his girlfriend (who he was supposed to love) doing so well, but he wasn’t?
Well, for starters. I wasn’t lying, nor have I ever lied about my career. I also don’t lie about my spiritual experiences.
But the thing that stuck out the most was this – he heard everything I said. Having a plan, taking your time, having fun. Remaining independent. Working your way up.
And it didn’t fit his agenda. So he started reporting my Facebook pages. He started competing against me. He started complaining and lying.
And I left. By then, my mother didn’t have long, and I didn’t have time.
And I look back to that, and where I am currently. Realizing that I made the right choice. Understanding that the relationship was another test. Because in the beginning, I had my concerns and I should have walked away from him.
Don’t ever doubt your intuition. If someone isn’t ready for you…that’s their problem. Not yours.
To this day, I stand by how I managed to get here. Aby One is a blessing. It wasn’t forced. It landed in my lap. Now it’s begun to shift and mutate into something greater.
But no one is around me trying to sabotage my efforts because they can’t imagine how I did it.