This is a great question, because I think experiences in life etch your confidence out of you.

Children are a great example of confidence, even given their environments. We seem to think a kid can be delusional – pretending to be a knight or a princess. But they believe so deeply that they are, and that’s how things should be…you couldn’t shake their faith on the matter.

As adults, we don’t think that way anymore. We’re told imaginations are “make believe” and meant only for children. Meanwhile, we work in a system created by someone else. Interesting.

Confidence seems delusional if you don’t have any childlike wonder. You have to fully believe the good you see, and the good you can produce. You have to fully believe the outcome will go in your favor. And just like the knight saving the princess from a tower – you have to keep killing dragons.

The solution to building self-confidence is knowing you have to keep trying. We’ve already discussed the lack of childlike wonder – how do you gain it back? Children are tenacious. They will wear you down until they get an ice pop. They think they deserve it. Do they not? You can give them many reasons, but it doesn’t register because their faith is in what they believed would occur (even if they misbehaved!)

When you keep trying, maybe the result won’t always be as you’d like…but you realize you are getting closer. And then you nail it – that somersault. That book project. That design contract. Maybe even the ability to wear that outfit. It’s all about trying, not asking anyone else around you for permission…and knowing that if you fail you can keep trying.

It sounds simple from my standpoint, but I know it may be difficult to grasp from someone who feels they’ve lost their spark.

Show up, every day, for yourself. And keep trying. I think the final point I’d like to add is…

Outside validation is fleeting. You have to lean on your own accord in order to move forward. So many others are not prepared because they’re dealing with their own issues. Instead – how do you feel about whatever it is? It’s far more important.