Sober
Everyday, for nearly three and a half weeks, Shawn administered Marvel, twice a day to keep Alana happy. She never seemed to come down, but he wanted to make sure she never did while they were at Daldestine.
Pixie was watching the pair from a far at all times, more so concerned about Alana at this point. Like any drug, she would become addicted and never be the same. Despite this, eventually Alana had to do the unthinkable.
Alana was altered to reset things and to keep balance in the universe, an idea Ralden was now questioning, considering that the universe hadn’t been reset in twenty-eight years. It was truly perplexing too, how nonchalant Manifesto was going about everything, but it had to be because Alana was human this time around.
Emotional, easily attached, anxious, thoughtful…everything you couldn’t possibly be functioning as reincarnation itself. How did she manage to come back into existence as a child? Perhaps the protocols and programming enforced through Manifesto’s creation process were altered this time.
Or perhaps being an omnipresent being meant you actually did have the power to choose…
Ralden took another swig of his drink, then tipped his waiter as he started to retreat to his room. An ignorant but happy Alana slumped past him in the hall, giggling and briefly holding onto Ralden for support as he and Shawn made uneasy eye contact for a quick moment. Alana then bumped into a wall, laughing loudly as Shawn was there to pick her up.
Ralden didn’t stick around to watch them, he didn’t want Shawn becoming nervous. Delgado looked back at Ralden entering his room, making note of which one it was. And Alana was still in a daze, now making her way through the crowd and to their prescribed table. When she sat down, Pixie smiled at her, passing a glass of clear, orange liquid. Shawn intercepted it as quickly as he could and raised his eyebrows.
Pixie mouthed, “it’s a stabilizer,” before Alana caught on, suggesting she’d still be high-just not messy. Shawn then allowed Alana to consume the beverage, and saw an immediate change in her demeanor; she was still high and ready to have fun.
When she stood and walked off, Pixie slapped her hand on Shawn’s arm, making sure he caught her distraught look.
“You’re tearing her to pieces day by day with this drug, Shawn…” Pixie stated, “her let down will be tremendous, and she may very well hate you forever.”
“I don’t know what else to do,” Shawn admitted, “besides, she’s Manifesto type A, it doesn’t do any damage.”
“But she’s human, Shawn. The majority of her genetic makeup is Manifesto; her vessel and her soul are as fragile as glass. She will crack, then she will shatter. You can’t pick up all the pieces and fix her…”
Shawn sadly looked up and watched Alana mingling among other humanoids, some singing her praises as they had been since she arrived. Perhaps Pixie had a point.
“Shawn…this entire thing is a huge mess. I understand why you’re going about it the way you are. But this will do more damage than good. She is the reason we have a reason. She’s not a second guess, but a second chance. That is always definite. Compassion, understanding…trust…you’re etching it out of her by doing this.”
Shawn snatched his arm away and glared at Pixie. He felt like he was trying to help Alana. That was the part he didn’t tell anyone else except Ralden. He was going to give Alana enough money that she could buy a spacecraft of her own, find a crew and run from Manifesto as long as she could. He couldn’t stomach the idea of meeting someone like Alana…knowing she would never be the same. Ever again.
“I’m making sure she enjoys her life since it clearly isn’t her choice to do so otherwise,” Shawn said as he walked away, “so please, let me allow her the opportunity to indulge before she’s forced to make a decision that not even you or I could make.”
Though it sounded selfish, there wasn’t much else to add to it. Alana would eventually learn what she was, and that she had to help set balance for the universe, time and time again. It had taken Shawn ten years to muster up the courage to even approach Alana. When he finally did, he seemed to be winging it the entire time.
Just the same, the person bringing her in has to deal with the fact that this individual doesn’t realize how important she is…and how mindless her alterations were.
Does the universe truly need a reset button?
Shawn was watching everything about Alana right now. Her long, graceful arms with slender wrists and elegant fingers. The slight dimples that appeared when she smiled. Those light brown eyes…how they glittered even when she wasn’t enjoying herself. The light gold skin tone of her…how in some ways she was a soft copper…and ever so mesmerizing. The other reason he had given her Marvel was to keep her from glowing so no one suspected anything. It would cause issues among the other guests, and Shawn didn’t feel like leaving.
The feeling of regret was weighing heavy on Shawn this time-he didn’t want to readminister the drug to himself. He did so anyway, stepping into the restroom, and sitting in the last stall. Afterwards, Shawn stared at the bathroom door for a while before leaving the bathroom and finding Alana, who was still all smiles.
If his last dose was wearing off, it was possible hers would be doing the same as well. Perhaps because of the genetic makeup, they were becoming immune and it was then Shawn decided it was time to tell her.
As he approached even closer, he was surprised to see Ralden, who was dressed in typical Manifesto garbs, wearing a high collar, navy suit with a hard part on the left side of his head…sitting with Alana and other females, happily chatting and sharing drinks. Ralden was doing all the talking, but caught Shawn coming up and lifted a brow at his presence.
So maybe not quite yet.
As the night went on, Shawn found himself consuming Marvel a few more times, but Alana only had one more go. When it was time to head back up stairs, and the time lapse allowed the sun to shine brightly within the furor and game halls, Shawn tugged Alana to the elevator, then off as they headed towards their room.
He wouldn’t pursue her this time, and allowed her to sleep as he stared off into the space around them, wishing he never agreed to capture her and bring her in. It’s why it took him such a long time to retrieve her in the first place. She was seventeen going on eighteen. Even then, she was absolutely stunning, and Shawn did his best not to say anything. But he would watch her, kept tabs on her.
He even saw her spiraling out of control. Though she didn’t commit the actual crimes her ex boyfriend had, she was his get-away-driver, which was enough. Alana was then sentenced to probation and banished to Render-not that Earth was a good place to stay at the time. Manifesto never gave him a time frame because of Alana’s delicate nature.
No parents, no history of origin. No friends, no other family members. She was adopted, and when she turned eighteen, Alana immediately left her foster parents. Since that moment, she had always been in harm’s way.
Only to grow up and be intercepted by Shawn and Manifesto. Then, she would learn what she really is. Ralden was specific with his own instructions. Not to sway her mind, but to tell her the truth.
In this case, though. You are Mr. Delgado. And you love someone you’ll never get to see again.
*
Manny, Dale and Pixie stopped residing in the hotel and slept in their ship, The Dirty Deities. They were used to it, and to them, it was a form of comfort. They were also tired of having to watch Shawn drug Alana every single day, as they had been there for a little over a month.
It didn’t really seem like Shawn was saving much, but as he explained to Pixie-there wasn’t much he could do. However messy everything was becoming, no one said anything to Alana, and he was grateful.
And yet, Pixie was just as emotional as any female in the universe. She began to wonder if she should say something, knowing it would only be so she can have things back to the way they were.
And so she could stare at Shawn and wish he was hers. Shawn told her he wasn’t interested on several occasions and that he felt a certain type of way about shape shifters. He saved her life because no one should be subjected to be used as a toy in any way, shape or form.
Since that day, Pixie had only seen him with a handful of women he did not parade around, or keep with him as long as he kept up with Alana. So, when everyone was informed about what he was doing, things clicked into place for Pixie. Shawn had fallen for Alana and didn’t know if he’d be able to complete his mission. He wanted to spend as much time with her before she’d be gone forever.
It was also unlike Shawn, who boasted about how many women he had been with. Within the last few years, he literally stopped his serenade to other women. He wouldn’t even make eye contact at times. Only someone with immense discipline would be able to do that.
Or, as the energy of the universe goes…those meant to be matches. Pixie couldn’t help but to wonder what Shawn’s original objective was. He refused to share this information, and often times acted like he was embarrassed to even be a Manifesto Type A. Though Manifesto acted out of turn often, their “creation” process of elite beings went in patterns, especially those who were Type As. It kept things “clean” and efficient, and in most cases it worked for them.
Yet, this time around, they lost track of Alana, so it beckoned the question of how tight things were really being run.
Analese was also questioning this, still looking over video footage of Shawn, this time making sure she actually saw Ralden. Ralden had gone against everything he was told, but Analese could see he was trying to make sure the job was done properly. Though Manifesto wanted things to go their way, no one was allowed to persuade Alana in any way. She would have to make the decision to sacrifice herself for the universe.
It was a lot to ask from someone who didn’t know much about herself, but it was highly expected of her. Hopefully, Alana wouldn’t disappoint.
Now Analese was watching Alana intently. She knew Shawn very well, and knew why it had taken him such a long time. This disappointed Analese. All she ever wanted was Shawn. So, watching him indulge in and entertain someone who was soon to renew everything, including herself. It struck a nerve.
Alana was extremely beautiful, and there was no denying that. Analese could see that she probably couldn’t compete. Its when Analese remembered she’d have to sacrifice herself that made her smile. It didn’t guarantee she’d have Shawn, but at least he wouldn’t be so distracted.
To make things more interesting, no one knew this except those who already had information on Shawn Delgado-Shawn’s original position was the opposite and the match for Alana’s purpose. If either of them figured it out at anytime, Manifesto’s idea of a reset would probably cease to exist-though it wouldn’t mean the universe would follow suit. It simply meant the comfort in knowing wouldn’t be available anymore, something that Manifesto couldn’t live without.
Since the pairs existence and purpose coincided with the other, Alana could live as would existence-as would balance and reincarnation. So, there wasn’t much anyone could say to convince her otherwise. It would only work if someone sat her down and told her the options she had. This was Analese’s greatest fear at the moment. Manifesto was used to having their way.
Would Ralden go against protocol and tell Alana what she was and what she could do? Would Shawn do the same?
Furthermore…would this show the entire universe how much of a gamble Manifesto always took?
The bloodshed, the wars, the games, the political agendas. The threats-the invasions. Plundering…cultural rape. Excuses. And then attempting to hold the utmost authority over those smaller than they. There were only two beings who were created at the beginning worthy to even make an entire universe full of creation succumb…and if anyone knew who they were, Manifesto would be done for.
Analese was still watching over the footage of Shawn and Alana, smiling ever so widely. Perhaps she could convince Alana to do what she considered right. That way she could still possibly hold her position.
*
It was the same music. Same dress types-black, crystals, tight. Same heels, same hair style. Same feeling when you were drunk. Same feeling of disappointment when you were down playing poker. Same exhilaration when you’ve cleared the table.
The giggles, champagne. The flirting, the hopes. The kisses, the orgasms. Suddenly, Alana could see through the fog as she was covered with new clothes, draped in fur, shining with crystals and black diamonds. She saw nothing but herself enjoying herself until the haze and movement of lackadaisical resentment caught up with her when she saw the look on Shawn’s face-the man who experienced the fun he invited her into.
She knew this face all too well, and at this point she was afraid of it.
“You never answered my question!” Alana shouted to Shawn, who was rosy cheeked and laughing with a nearby guest.
“What…” Shawn said, clearing the fog from his own haze.
“I asked you…if your crew respects you…and you said-”
“Alana,” Shawn said, wafting bubbles and feathers from his face as he stumbled to be by her side, “I need to tell you something far more dire than that.”
Shawn kneeled to be eye level, admiring how laid back Alana was in the chair she took up space in.
The let down Pixie spoke of came like an asteroid hitting a unknowingly and innocent planet-or did Alana expect it this entire time? She cleared a few bubbles from her face and burped up a little Shiraz before she looked him square in the eye. Alana was wearing a black fur shawl, with a sheer black dress underneath. She chose to match the ensemble with a black bra and a black thong-none of which anyone knew about except Shawn.
Shawn smelling strongly of liquor, looked down then around as if he was hesitant to respond. Then they made eye contact. His green eyes scanned her face before he looked down again, then around once more. When he made eye contact again, Alana could feel hot tears forming.
“You are a Manifesto Type A, one whose objective is to help reset balance…”
“The fuck…” was Alana’s near silent response.
“Yes…” Shawn answered, through all the noise and chaotic fun around them, “you are reincarnation. You are the reason existence exists-now. And I have you here because I wanted to turn you in…but I can’t…”
Alana didn’t respond as a flurry of bubbles blew into her face. The room seemed to tilt back and forth, and that’s when she felt the entire come down. Though those around her were laughing, and enjoying themselves, Alana felt like she had been jettisoned into a black hole. She turned her head to look at Shawn, who’s eyes were just as red and as teary as her own. Then she stood, and walked quickly away from him.
This brought Ralden up to Shawn’s side. He cleared his throat, and looked Shawn over quickly.
“Tell her the options she has. But do not…in any way…sway her mind.”
“You people…are impossible,” Shawn stammered, standing and pushing Alana’s chair away with his foot, “as is finding the nerve to actually leave her…”
“Shawn…” Ralden spoke up, “think about what you’re risking…”
“DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!” Shawn shrieked, “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA!”
Ralden was taken aback, as the room and nearby gaming halls fell silent at Shawn’s emotional explosion.
“I would give back my entire life to not watch this unfold. The manipulation. The deceit! I will suffer no consequences, and we both know-”
“So why are you so apt to have her returned?”
SMACK!
Shawn had slapped Ralden down into the floor. As soon as he saw that he took him by surprise, he mounted him and began pummeling away at his face as Manny and Dale struggled to pull him off. By now, almost all who were at the lower level of the casino began peeking in to see what was unfolding.
“I can’t say I didn’t deserve that,” Ralden grunted in pain, as he allowed a few strangers to help him stand.
“Next time something this precious needs attending to, find someone who doesn’t have as much freedom!” Shawn yelled, pushing Manny off of him and knocking him down, “someone who doesn’t know all of Manifesto’s bullshit! And tell Analese to stop watching me!”
Gasps and whispers erupted as Shawn brushed past, a path opening as he parted the crowd. Manny looked fiercely at Ralden before following behind Shawn and Dale and now Pixie now swept in to do damage control.
Dale scooped Ralden up by the arm, and escorted him away from the crowds. Pixie came with a first aid kit, and as she squatted down and rearranged her sky blue ballroom gown, she was able to get a good glimpse at Ralden.
“You’ve been watching all of us,” Pixie stated, now examining the red, swollen area where he was hit hardest, “so, is he not doing his job?”
“How do you know?”
“I’m his acting first captain, there isn’t much I don’t know. At least where his financial affairs are concerned. So it’s true then, about her…”
“She is the only reason all of this is a problem,” Ralden answered dryly.
“It sounds to me that through Shawn’s rage, he was right,” Dale spoke up, “Manifesto fucked up.”
*
Shawn expected the door to be barred and the room to be torn apart, but he found Alana sitting in his perch, staring out of the window. She was clutching a glass of wine, and had changed out of her fancier attire into an enormous, fluffy white sweater Shawn had picked out for her. When Shawn moved closer, she looked up with red eyes, smeared with glitter and black eye liner.
Stooping down, he wanted to make eye contact, but she looked directly outside and took a deep breath.
“I’m not mad at you…” Alana whispered, “I am confused and hurt, though.”
She gave a side look at Shawn then took a sip of wine.
“I didn’t know how to go about capturing you and turning you in. I have my reasons I’d rather not express…but when I found out your purpose, I was shocked. I was being asked to turn you in when you were seventeen-which I refused because of how bad it would look had I been caught. Then I waited, watched to make sure you didn’t get into too much trouble. But I didn’t know what to do once I finally got ahold of you.”
“You could have left me where I was…” Alana added.
“You willingly came, let’s not forget that. And you know very well that Manifesto will bite the bullet and invade Earth again if they had to. I intervened because Earth wouldn’t be able to handle another invasion. They deemed the situation too sticky because you’re human. It meant I couldn’t just take you and give you to Manifesto. Being a female human means your emotions play a huge role in the decisions you make, no matter how much you’d like to disagree. So it needed to be as seamless as possible. Aside from all of that, this has been exceedingly difficult for me. I am the yin to your yang.”
“So, that’s why you idled so long? Why you’ve taken me to all these places when you could have just taken me Manifesto?”
Shawn did not want to answer, feeling it would make him look obsessive, even though it was the truth.
“Well,” he began, “I knew how life was for you before. I hoped to show you how it can be…but I can never sway your mind. It is against protocol. So you have two options available.”
Shawn stood, walked over to the dresser across the room, and rummaged through it. Once he made it back to Alana, he took his original position while holding a shiny, iridescent object the size of a small shoe box.
“You can take the rest of the funds-we don’t need them. Find a ship and crew at The Barge and flee for as long as you can. Or…you can turn yourself in immediately. But I ask that you read the novel inside of this box. It’s about the writer’s experience of Taoism and Buddhism as well…”
“You’ve been all over and you’ve seen everything. Hard to trust a man like that,” Alana said, now finishing her glass.
“I never asked you…not once…to trust me.”
“How come you won’t tell me why you took so long to turn me in, Shawn?”
“Because it’s my choice. That’s in the depths of my mind and my soul, Alana. You don’t quite have it like that.”
“Fair enough…”
Shawn stood to leave, when Alana attempted to follow his quick motions, before he could open the door, she had wedged herself in between, looking helplessly up at him.
“Am I to sleep alone tonight?” she asked.
Shawn smirked at this, then kissed her forehead before staring into her eyes.
“Not by choice,” Shawn answered, now moving her out of the way, “but it’s something I have to get used to.”
*
Shawn was now sitting in his perch aboard his spacecraft, watching yet another artificial time lapse created by Manifesto creep its way along during the supposed early morning hours. He had several empty whiskey bottles behind him, something else he loved from Earth.
Pixie slowly approached from behind, noticing his aura was the light blue like turquoise he had often spoke of. She had never experienced it, nor did she realize it would be so intense. When she saw all the empty liquor bottles, she wasn’t entirely sure if she should be bothering him.
“I get to a certain point,” Shawn suddenly spoke up, “where consuming things is habitual, as they only affected me on my first try. Now, it is out of comfort since I have seemingly misplaced my soul…”
“I think you did the right thing. My question for you is this, Shawn. Why did you wait so long? She was twenty-one, even twenty-five. Why did you hesitate?”
“I was watching her, holding out. Then I became accompanied by the thought of her, and realizing the necessity in being wanted back-”
“So you fell for her and didn’t want to make it creepier than it already was?”
“Fell?” Shawn said, taking a shot of whiskey, “had fallen…as it is apart of both of our purposes.”
“I am unaware of your directive,” Pixie shot at him, “so forgive me for not understanding.”
“Ah. Nevermind then, Pixie. You’ll only hate me more…”
“Hate you?”
“When I was growing up, my father told me I was destined for great things. I am the only Manifesto Type A who fought and won his freedom…”
Shawn turned his chair to face Pixie, his feet dragging along and clinking empty bottles as he went. Pixie was glaring at him now, waiting for him to take another stab at her.
Instead, noting that Shawn had been crying, she remained silent. Shawn stood, slowly walked past her without another word…and it was then Pixie realized perhaps the entire reason was none of her business after all. Shawn wanted to be left alone. He was dealing with a situation completely out of his control…no matter what he was originally purposed to do or how great it was.
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