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Barely entering a coffee shop, several people look up and watch me. I’m nervous, and I hate conversations. People prod to see how far they can get. If they can’t break past my defenses, I’m a bitch. Or not worth it

I just want coffee.

I nervously look up at the menu, biding my time before the idiot walks over to speak. Then I over think my clothes and makeup. Is it too much? Or are people ridiculous?

He pines, closing in to speak when the cashier saves the day briefly. I can tell he’s slightly defeated but tries anyway.

When our eyes meet, I look away, ensuring my music is up as loud as possible. He sees me check and still tries to approach. Suddenly, he’s too close and I’m out of options. I’ve just paid for my coffee…it’s not like I can run out now.

“Hi…”

“No…”

His breath hitches up and he frowns.

As he walks away, I realize that no matter what I do, someone always tries to approach me. No matter what.

Does this happen to you? If so, I’ve learned that it’s dark feminine energy (or dark masculine) it is primal…meaning it is creation energy. Men and women are not attracted to you solely for sexual purposes – they want your power. The easiest way to get it is through sex.

Women, especially, give off this energy as they are the absolute source of creation (they are mothers). Men carry it too, that primal energy people crave.

For women, to help balance it is to accept that darkness. It bothers everyone who doesn’t know themselves. Your expression through black dresses, red lipstick and vivacious heels is no one’s business but your own. The world wants women to be tender. Tender women get trampled.

For men, balancing it comes with understanding – you’ll know when you’re needed. To over protect and control is toxic and in no way masculine. It’s deceptive for certain. To allow, follow and understand yourself allows you to see that dark energy is primal and meant for creation.

Creating what, exactly? Balance, space, love…and everything in between.

It’s alright if you’re a girly girl, or a tough guy.

It’s not okay if you’re doing it to hide.

I was hiding for a long time, and not understanding why I did things. When I wanted to be myself, I was cast down and mocked. So when it seems you can’t control me, I’m a slut, wild or easy. And when I’m sweet and approachable – you try to use me?

Wow.

It’s not to say you should put your stiletto heels in someone throat. But discover this on your own.

Not every woman will have dark femme energy – and that’s ok too. You have a purpose for light. Not every man has dark masc energy – you’re needed to light the way for other reasons.

But if this blog speaks to you, and you were already sensing this. Time to be true to yourself.