What bothers you and why?

There is one thing that bothers me, and it evolves into other things, so to speak.

I am a straightforward person, so when I communicate and deal with others, there’s nothing motivating my kindness. I am unwavering, honest and flat out kind.

My biggest pet peeve is when an individual uses modes of kindness, whether it be compliments, gifts, or help…to situate themselves into a position where they can attempt to manipulate me. Let’s be honest, everything under the sun just about falls into this category – disregarding your opinion, comparisons, trying to make something great seem smaller than it is, destroying your personal items, and gaslighting.

When I say it’s something I’m working on, it’s gotten to the point that when it happens, I do not respond but I question why. Younger me would have been out for blood, so I’m glad to say that’s not my objective. It’s pointless to retaliate…you are just like the perpetrator.

I do not understand the point in using and hurting people, for absolutely nothing other than seeing someone hurting. And to pretend you would never makes it even more insidious and disdainful. It’s almost as if I’m saying, “have you no shame?”

There’s never a reason to do it, you lose more than you gain. What I need to understand is that when it’s continues to happen, from the same individual, this person is completely gone – their mind is decay. I cannot change that, or fix them. What will I lose that can affect me so much that I have to respond? More than likely nothing. I’m not saying to bite the bullet – they don’t actually hold a gun…they’re hoping I think they have one.

It’s not insurmountable odds against me…it’s how I’m dealing with it – what I’m allowing. As mentioned before, I’ve gotten better. I need to remember they’re holding an imaginary weapon and praying I don’t figure it out.