How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?
When it comes to healthy boundaries, I, at the age of 36 (37 in April) have just learned to say no. My mother is a narcissist, but has aged…so her “will” is frail as well. She enjoys playing mind games with me, more than anyone. However, the last year, it’s been more difficult for her to control me. The first time I said no, she died a little inside 😅 but I made it clear as to why, and so on and so forth.
The Heiress JCS 
That must’ve felt liberating for you! I can relate but I’m at a stage where my parents are not in my life now. I had to accept some people won’t change or refuse to understand.
Healthy boundaries are great in all aspects of life. It’s helped me have healthier friendships. I can now recognise green flags as opposed to just looking for red ones, making it easier to know who to trust and invest my time in.
I hope things get better for you. Also wanted to say your dress sense is absolutely awesome!
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Aw, you’re so sweet thank you!
Well, I have systemic lupus, so it’s a bit difficult for me to not be in her household. Since that’s the case, I’ve learned that those boundaries are necessary. And in this case, it’s helped me find an awesome boyfriend, green flags all around.
Parents have a tendency to think because they are your parents, they can also bully you. I’ve done my very best to make sure my own children understand the difference.
I understand not talking with your parents, as you are correct. People don’t change, unless they want to. Walking away is freeing.
As far as things getting better, they will. I appreciate you commenting, definitely giving you a follow.
I also love your concept artwork for your novels and characters! Keep creating!
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Aww thanks.
I understand not everyone can leave. Sometimes it’s just not an option. Sometimes you can only minimise (go low contact as the subreddit “raised by narcissistic” would say). I found that place very helpful when I was in my transition phase.
Narcissistic parents tend to think you’re an extension of them and they get surprised when they find out you’re an individual person different from them. They see you as something they own, as opposed to, an individual with their own wants and needs. It takes people like yourself to recognise and break this abuse cycle. I’m glad you’re doing this with your children by validating their feelings and encouraging them to grow and be their own people.
I love your art too. I went to your art page to have a look (couldn’t find the like button, wanted to leave a like).
Hope you keep creating too!
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I was unaware no like button was available, I’ll look into it. Thank you, though. I really appreciate it.
Abuse is abuse. Being accountable for poor behavior isn’t something boomers do. Funny, however, my grandparents were exceptional at that, especially my grandfather.
It does help keeping my distance and I’ve learned not to react, but to respond. I also use protection spells 😉 which lessens contact and fights. But overall, I’ve spent the last few years loving and forgiving myself. So I’m not as phased as I was.
I will keep creating! I have tons of projects lined up, including a new novel, and the release of my own music.
It’s been a pleasure coming across each other!
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