The fall winds crisp the air at night. Sighing deeply, I nuzzle further into my layers of blankets, intertwined with my body warmed pajamas and cool linens. The feeling of both surges my joy, and I allow myself to relax.
I’m not counting the days to anything, I want to breathe. Sometimes, I listen to music, or watch shows. But lately I’ve been falling asleep, and making sure I rest well.
That’s when it hits me – I have created peace and prefer it that way.
My mind dances around brisk morning walks, trimming my mums and hanging my lights outside. Pumpkin muffins make my inner child drool, and suddenly I drift off to sleep, to be disturbed by none.
Instead of bumbling into another situation, I rest my laurels on my own pillow. Instead of settling, I prefer the quiet comfort of my own. Who is there to impress?
No one, really. I’m not going to tear myself down because I can’t stand my own presence.
It is that thought that helps me revel in my own light. I am willing to share it if your intent isn’t to snuff it out, and pretend you hadn’t.
Without delusion, life is hard. And with it, it is still hard – just what you make it. To be contrite to one’s self…means that behavior passes over to others. Even when you think it’s contained.
So, I am not for everyone. And I’m willing to live with that type of peace.
The Heiress JCS 