Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.

In 2017, I did the unthinkable, and defended myself against my ex. He had become physically abusive, so I shot him in the neck. He survived, fortunately, my father taught me how to fight and handle a gun.

However, going through the criminal justice system was not what I was expecting.

For starters, the courts had a hard time sentencing me. I’d never committed a crime before, and that included no drug use at all.

I was on ankle monitor, and immediately taken off. The judge announced during that session, that they never experienced this. I was slightly embarrassed and here’s why.

Almost every person I came across lived life by their addictions, parental issues and how they could get their next fix. While I felt because I used a weapon to defend myself, I was as bad as the other surrounding me. I wasn’t.

I was certainly a work in progress at that time, and imagined I was lowly…until hearing unthinkable stories. Prostitution for meth, killing for meth. A mother was behind bars for allowing her own children to join in her trafficking scheme.

The more I went through, followed the rules and got the thumbs up from my probation officers and therapist…the more I realized my mistake was to show me that your life is lived through choices. And anything that affects it in a lot of cases is allowed by the person suffering.

In domestic violence classes, hardly anyone wanted to admit they were wrong. There were pages in our booklets about abuse and different types. My mouth dropped to the stories and reactions of how we all ended up there.

When I finished classes in 2021, my therapist for that class cried. He said I was the most remarkable woman he’d ever seen. From day one, I always said, “my offense was greater.” Or “I could have killed him.”

I wanted to grow, learn, understand and change for the better. And I did that. But I felt out of place because I assumed otherwise. It still sometimes bothers me, about how messed up a lot of individuals are. However, I also remember that we are all capable of making good and bad decisions, which sets the tone for our lives.