What brings you peace?

The story continues to unfold.

In 2017, I was at my lowest. The previous year, my youngest came three and a half months early, so I had undergone an emergency c-section to save both of our lives.

Family life at home was the worst. My mother acted as if she wanted me dead, and my ex started become listless and abusive in the same breath.

After spending two weeks in the hospital, I returned home. My son was in NICU, so I would call daily and visit twice a week.

By March of 2017, I made a very hard decision. I talked with the father of my older children, and decided to have them move out to NC with him. I knew my ex would begin abusing them and I wanted a better life, one I never had at that point.

My only girl, especially, was torn up about it. But I explained that I wanted her and her brother to be children – exempt from abuse, lack of funds…and emotion manipulation from the other adults around me. As you gathered, I was unaware of the money to my name at this time.

June 17th, 2017…I hugged and kissed my sweet loves goodbye, as I knew that within a month…I would be in a fight for my life.

For years, I beat myself up about not being able to visit. Covid made that worse. But their father said something that finally clicked.

“Do what you can and don’t worry, I promise they’re alright.”

We lost contact because they moved, and I finally got in touch with both of them again…

They are the sweetest beings I have ever seen, and they came from me. Everyday, I’d dream of them both and wished I’d done things better. And all they could say to me was how much they loved me, and how they can’t wait to see me.

Next month, I’ll be traveling to NC not only to see my boyfriend, but to see my beautiful children.

The way they still adore me, their absolute need to tell me they love me. How they understood my reasoning behind sending them to live with their father. In the end, I did the right thing…and we are all the more happy for that.

What has brought me peace in my life…are the results of the incredulous sacrifices I made to insure the safety of my bloodline. And receiving adulation and love in return is far more significant than anything I’ve ever been given, with the exception of the love I have from my younger boys and my twin flame.

Love gives me peace. I’m sorry if this seems sappy – I went through absolute hell.

And came back on the other side.