What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

By now, if you’ve been paying close enough attention, you’ve read or noticed that I am highly intelligent. I do not forsake such a gift, however…it is not my favorite “thing” about myself.

I have been through a lot as we all have, and one of my traits that always gets me through situations…whether created by myself or another would be my resiliency. 

Before someone pulls out DSM-5, and begins attempting to diagnose my behavior, there is a silver lining to being resilient.

(I function as a Narcissistic Type A, I have O.C.D., and I have Schizotypal Disorder…that I actually don’t feel is a bad thing.)

Giving up is my very last option, and even then, I am not sure it is the end of the line. For however many times I have had to redo something, start over, pick up the pieces…reshape my life…I would not be where I am. While the general public offers the opinion that those who have resilient aptitudes may actually be doing more damage to themselves than good…I highly disagree.

If I gave up every single time a human obstacle, moreover, was placed in my path…simply to state – I would be dead. Or, worse, I would have obtained nothing from the strife I continuously went through. There would be a lack of character, I would be a beige wall void…millennial pink. I would fit right in…I would die in the abyss of familiarity and safety.

I would not grow wings and fly. 

And that is terrifying to me, it always has been. What is normal anyway? Human civilizations have been known to create new words and sounds…normal to me sounds like “not” (nor) mad “mal,” Espanol for mad/angry. I was very much angry that the plastered world…literally crumbling before my eyes…was suggested as a prize for swallowing down emotions that need to burst forth in order for me to truly survive. 

Resiliency also offers new ideas, fundamentals away from societal demands and “norms” that coincidentally do more harm than good. While it seems like this is an oxymoron, for me to offer the middle finger and try again…shows that some of my actions were done on an emotional aspect. 

The only time I am listless is when I need to move away from certain danger, other than that…calamity would ensue if I didn’t act on my behalf. If we’re being honest, that’s for everyone and their own sake – act on your own behalf.

I was ashamed of my ideals towards living my life for a time, yet as time went on, I realized it is a part of my construct…and removing it would be taking a piece of my soul for granted.