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The evenings became increasingly colder, I noted this as I waited for my ride share. The crisp night air stung my lungs, as I replayed everything in my thoughts at this moment – I don’t think she has much longer…

I kept warning my family, they all seemed to agree. I had been taking care of her, I saw the immediate decline and knew she had to be close.

Upon arriving at the hospice, and ringing the door bell, I walked in during after hours to sit with my mother. Her nurse said to wish her well, he wasn’t certain how long she had. So I walked to her bedside, and sweetly told her the absolute truth.

“You did well. Maybe I am your greatest project. But you did a good job. I am happy, and I am happy I was able to care for you as I did. You’ll be at peace, you’ll be going home…I love you mom.”

I pulled up Cherish by Brian McKnight, a song about treating women right – in a world that hardly ever does…to a woman who knew nothing but pain. It was one of her favorites. I made it through a few other songs, when her breathing abruptly changed.

Looking up as quickly as possible, I heard a soft uttering – a halt. She had stopped breathing. Her chest heaved one last breath, and then it was silent. I checked the time – 9:38pm. Then I went looking for the nurse.

After the nurse confirmed she had passed, I realized she waited for me before passing away. And I am very happy I was present.

Today, her brother remarked that I had sacrificed my life for her and my brother. I did, because I was afraid she would continue living life though strife, and misery. She would tell me, “I am so glad you’re here.” We had troubling moments in our younger years, yet I am profoundly happy she felt that way.

She would do anything for me, especially after we finished our rough patches. But she was lonely, delusional and scared. She was scared all of the time.

In her older years, she loosened up and learned more. She tried to give up religion…she tried to become understanding. I think trying to change is worth something.

There won’t be a huge service, she didn’t want one. She’ll be getting cremated, and I will be spreading her remains in Japan next year – a place she adores. In addition to that, I’m getting personal urn necklaces for everyone who she was closest to.

More than enough.

For a woman who didn’t think much of herself, she was beautiful, wise, and intelligent. I know she’s at peace.