The Visit


We’ve reached that point – hospice care.

Mom will be transferred soon. She is restless, agitated, anxious. Communication is very infant like – like that of a two year old. Yesterday, she recognized me. Today, she noted the roses but did not say my name, or call me baby.

She keeps trying to escape her hospital bed, and constantly unrobes herself. But I can’t blame her, I wouldn’t want to go like this either.

The cancer has spread from her uterus to her liver, lungs, pancreas…and bones. What was me assuming she was cheap…was her grappling each moment to secure a way for me.

She had already implemented this plan, seeing it until the end is intense. I am sorry to see her suffer, to try to escape…to be confused but know exactly what’s going on.

Cancer consumes…as do we.

I’ve been so busy, I haven’t considered blogging. My eldest came home, I’ve been packing, shuffling around relatives….

I want to breathe.

I don’t like how everyone else is dealing with it. I am quiet, calculated, and emotionless.

I will cry when this is done, I can’t think otherwise.

When more information arises, I will try to update everyone.

Thanks.

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