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Wage War

Silently filling in all the pieces to a puzzle
Say one wrong word, and you’ll be accessorizing a muzzle
It’s a struggle
If you want to be yourself
Part of you is independent
The rest is screaming for help

So you sacrifice
Pen and paper every night
Until you draw the line
White chalk everywhere
Making those outlines
Did I get it right?
I’m pistol toting –
We all know many will bring a knife

I’m tired of being nice
Tired of holding my tongue
Tired of missing my moment
Tired of cutting my thumb
On the plastic greenery
The made up scenery
The vices of others
Who have no respect for their mothers

The landscape has changed
Speak out and you’re insane
Do as you please
But it’s all deranged
So I say count your days
The bullet chamber is full
And I’m a good shot
It won’t be attempted murder
If I call the cops

Suddenly, I did it right
All the nights that I cried
Redirecting my life
Trying to find the light
Streets littered with gold
Rewards for the eyes to behold
And someone pretends they helped you
But left you out in the cold

The lesson I learned
From the bridges I burned
From the toil I churned
Is no one cared for me
Now I’m doing better
So it’s “you owe me.”
In big letters
But it was their boot that crushed me
When I got rushed, I see –

I remember what was done
And who shot the gun
Who was happy to see me fall
And happy I lost it all
As I scraped to survive
Rag around my eyes
Trying to stay stable
And not commit suicide

Clap all you want
This is my time
Congratulations are fake
This is my shine
I’m not even a man
No mister nice guy.
Not second to last
First every time

I don’t need your praise
I don’t need your pity
You need to know
I channel the light within me
I’m golden
I’m divine
I thrived, more than alive
You can’t pay anything back

When you had nothing the whole time…