The world through my teenage eyes appeared as carnage, disguised as teaching.

I had an art teacher in high school who was an absolute terror. I, of course, signed up for art class because I am an artist. I had no direction, just pure, untamed talent. To illustrate what the eyes can see is one thing, to illustrate what the mind forms is another scope humans aren’t usually ready for.

For starters, she constantly suggested my eyes were too big and misappropriated. I illustrate eyes as big as I do to suggest you are peering into one’s soul. This came from several passages, poems, books and songs where eyes are mentioned as windows to the soul. It is my belief, deeply, that this was more than just true. So I identified how I felt about the human soul through my depiction of our optical lenses.

Next, she claimed my art was too whimsical, unrealistic and unprofessional. My chosen artists throughout my entire school career were most certainly not Rembrandt, or even Monet (whom I adore). As mentioned in a previous post…they are Salvador Dali and Frida Kahlo.

While Impressionism, Realism, Contemporary, Classical and Modern arts have a place in my likes, the art I create and am drawn to usually comes from the mind, a symbolism of individualism and universal thoughts.

Perfectionism isn’t transparency. It is controlled, disguised as temperance and elegance. It’s decadent in deceit…and I was over controlled environments that caged how I truly felt inside. 

Of course as a child, I couldn’t correlate the two together, and assumed my art was garbage. Until I matured as an adult, and realized that is how I create. So instead of guiding me properly, like a spiritually well adult should (clearly, she was not)…she discouraged my creation because it came out flawed. Perhaps she was peering into a looking glass that resembled her own failures and decided to put them on me.

As it turns out, later on during that same school year…she had only two students whose work was eligible for a fundraiser she was hosting. She only approached me because of the popularity of a piece of work I had done…that she showcased to the entire school body. After…terribly lashing into me, and suggesting my work wasn’t good enough.

And during the auction for that fundraiser, my work was purchased almost immediately. 

This was written to remind you that unless someone is lifting you up, they see you as a threat. No, you’re not imagining things. Yes, your art is great simply because you took the time to create it.